Distorted Sexuality - Are We Love Addicts Or Love Avoidants? - Stylfemina

Distorted Sexuality – Are We Love Addicts Or Love Avoidants?

In the 60s women have burned their bras in public as a symbol of not just feminism – but also female sexual liberation. Since then we have come a long way, but we might have also just lost our way. Perhaps we became heat-seeking missiles attracting pleasure for all the “wrong” reasons, or we were just shooting empty bullets in the name of love.

I remember asking men and women “why they are sleeping around with so many partners”? Because of my work, I was really interested in knowing the answers & digging deeper into human behavior and their motives.

Women often see it as part of their sexual liberation, sometimes it is also the lust for power.The feel they can exercise power and control over men. sometimes it is out of revenge – thinking they can be and do what men do, or simply the desire to win the “competition” with other women.

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Men are different in their approach. Their hunting instinct is their driving force. When it is about sex, they feel that they want something new. Even they like the place they “reside”,  they still desire to enrich their experience with new “places to visit“.  They, sometimes, want to maximize reproduction: more sexual partners = more pleasure.

Research has proven that Monogamy isn’t natural to us. I do believe that we are naturally polygamous. Having said that, Monogamy is a choice, a choice that we have to continuously make – if we choose it.

If you understand sensual magnetism and energy, you will know that sacred sexuality is rooted in deep trust, love and safety. Sleeping around can be fun and fulfilling, but how long does it really satisfy? Some get eventually tired of it, others live it. The keep moving between relationships. In some cases it becomes a lifestyle.

Love addicts are often people abandoned in childhood. They like to avoid love growing into a deep relationship, therefore, they just back away when things get too close.

Maybe we are all nowadays a mix of addicts and avoidants. The temptations are real and ever present for men and women. But honestly, I see it constantly in my work: only real intimacy allows my clients in the end to face the depths of their being – their demons and power.

Did you know that there are really no sexual issues, there are only later manifestations of intimacy issues? Sexual issues are usually caused in childhood wounding or a de-regulation of the nervous system. They are experienced and stored as much in the body as they are in our mind.

We are not born sexually and emotionally “disturbed”, we have inherited it through several traumas and issues in the past.

There is no way to separate out our life force energy and sexual energy, as there is no difference.

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Women in particular have to respect, own and cherish their sexuality. It is sacred and not just a tool for validation and love seeking. When a woman is truly seated on her throne, she realizes that she carries the throne within her. Our bodies are temples of our souls. To be seated on the throne is to be well placed inside your own sacred chambers, deeply grounded into the root of Mother Earth, well seated in the center of your belly.

As you connect within and to everything around you, you will become aware in a world full of people who are passengers to their vessel.

Life is not a bondage, but a gateway to freedom. It is the opportunity to experience oneness with absolute consciousness, our own inner divinity. It can show you too, how to find purpose in life, how to weave the tapestry of life in the most meaningful manner, how to protect and nurture yourself, as well as how to protect and nurture others.

Sleeping around has never been my style. I am too picky for that. For me sexual liberation is indeed the sacred bond between a man and a woman.
When you understand and practice tantra, when your kundalini awakens and you can see not just into your soul, but also into the soul of your partner, when you feel connected and in divine union with everything – for me that is liberation, that is freedom.

Much Love,

 

Ani

 

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