The Ray of Love – Good or Bad?
When we enter this world, the very first feeling we experience is love. Even as a newborn you feel love for your mother. Love takes different kinds of forms and has different purposes in each one’s lives. Love is magnanimous and is also the reason of the birth of various other emotions. Love can be of various kinds – the touch of your mother, the shoulder of your father, the passion of your soul mate, a hug from your sister or brother and the support of your friend. Love has the power to change lives, to enhance lives and is possibly the most important ingredient in one’s life.
How can love change one’s life?
If there was no love, possibly there won’t be any self worth or self esteem. Love is what makes our day to day life easy, beautiful and pleasurable. On the contrary, those who do not have love in their lives end up being hostile, aggressive and sometimes even negatively emotional. Love can help a person face any kind of difficult situation a little better. Being in love with someone changes your life’s perception, values and attitude towards life. It makes you want to be a better person for the person that you love.
When you love and live with a person you learn to adjust. After all, a true and genuine relationship is all about understanding and adjustment. If you truly love a person you learn to tolerate their misgivings, limitations and love them despite all these. Life always has several ups and downs. But it is possible to get through them if you have true love on your side. It would be just a little easier with your partner beside you, supporting you and vice versa.
Does love affect our goals?
Positive effects of love
Now, the question is – can love affect our goal? Well, if your partner shares your goals and dreams, supports you, pushes you – then your love can influence your goals in a very positive manner. If he/she pushes you, gives you constant admiration and praise then it is a major motivation to stay ahead and reach your goals. With the right kind of backing, your career and goal can sail smoothly. If you both are on the same wavelength then both of you would succeed in your goals. In fact, a study done by Washington University of St. Louis, USA found out that a partners personality, and daily factors which accumulate over a period of time can actually lead to actions which would mean a raise or a promotion. But all this can happen only if you both have the right wavelength and discuss each other’s concerns. Certain studies have also shown that love gives out euphoria and brain chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine. Hence all this makes you feel happier and better and it affects the way we think or act.
Negative effects of love –
All this is fine! However, have you heard the term ‘love sick’? Well, it is exactly what it sounds like. Too much emotions of love can lead to certain negative psychological feelings. The feeling of rejection, possessiveness, longing and the need for reciprocation – all this can lead to disturbing reactions which could be mental or physical. It could even lead to health problems, bad habits and worse it can deter you from your goals. Love in such cases becomes more of an addiction and no addiction can ever be good.
How to balance love life and your goals?
Love can be an amazing feeling as far as it brings positivity in your life. This positivity can take place only if you keep a balance in your life. Our entire life is made of adjustments and creating a balance – whether it is at a work place, your personal life, love life, between friends, parents and siblings and so on. Forgoing your goals or taking a sideline so you could concentrate on your love can only lead to unfulfilled desires which would crop up some day and not let you be satisfied.
At the moment you might be okay with letting your goals be, but once you turn your back on them, you will not attain self-actualization. This would in turn also prevent you from being true to your love and relationship. So ultimately what happens? You shortchange your relationship goals too.
At the same time, if you pursue your goal at the cost of your relationship, your love would naturally not survive. Your relationship might just float for a while, maybe be functional; but you won’t have a relationship which flourishes and blossoms. Eventually it might just lead to the end of a beautiful relationship spoilt only due to complete concentration on your goals.
Creating a synergy –
The only way to tackle such problems and create a balance is to have a synergy. That means that you do not compromise on your own goals, neither does your partner and you both also work towards your relationship at the same time. Does it sound too good to be true? We accept; it is quite difficult but not impossible! As individuals you both are parts of one whole and you both play an important role towards building that synergy.
In most relationships, time is a large constraint; especially if you are trying to keep towards your goals. You both need to create a solution to break that time constraint. You need to find a solution which can allow you to be true to your relationship and your personal agendas. At times you will need to find a common ground and include your partner too in your work goals and process. You also need to reciprocate and be mutual. Instead of having an approach of ‘or’, ‘either’ you need to make it about ‘and’.
No method is right or wrong. It is entirely up to you and your partner to find what works for the both of you. A lovely relationship can flourish only if you both create a balance such that you find time for all three of you – yourself, your partner and your goals.