Sacrifices and relationships – A Two-way Street
In our lives, we all have to face various kinds of decisions and at times these are quite tough. Ina relationship, most of the time it is us women sacrificing. I would like to say, that we are probably built in such a way that we are more adjusting and sacrificial as compared to our male companions. Whether it is biology or something that we ‘just’ do out of love; or out of the need to keep the relationship healthy is something we can never know. We obviously face the brunt of every situation.
Some men expect women to do everything and also cope with their work lives, isn’t it? We often think that motherhood affects our career and we are pushed towards making a choice. But quite frankly, it is when men do not do their share in the relationship that we are pushed towards
making such choices and sacrifices. Albeit men are doing a lot as compared to what our dads might have done, but it still isn’t enough. We are still doing twice what men do. Yes, parenting is not really a tangible work. One can split jobs, like packing lunches, getting the kids ready and so on. But tell me, how many dads can tell which section their kid studies in or their kid’s shoe size or their dentist’s name? We women always end up doing the invisible work and it ultimately affects our work life. Our minds are always filled to the brim with shopping lists, to-do lists; we end up not taking care of ourselves. How many of you actually have time to relax or has time for a hobby? How many of you actually relax on a weekend? This applies to even those women who do not have kids. In a relationship, we always end up taking the harder side.
Most men probably think that we do all this because we want to rather than need to. They don’t seem to realize that we maybe do not have a choice. How does this affect the relationship? We obviously face the brunt of most situations. These kinds of sacrifices can sometimes bring in resentment. Such situations might find us resenting our companion and this is mainly not because of the choice per se; but how it was made. Every relationship does require some amount of sacrifice. In fact, it is said that true love requires sacrifices. Sacrifices also bring in the question of power. You might just end up in a relationship where you are always expected to give in or give up. This becomes an unbalanced way of life and ultimately an imbalance of a relationship. This adds up to resentment and unhappiness over the long term. How can this be stopped and we come to a mutual understanding? The only way around this problem is communication. I know, easier said than done! But if you value and want to be in a relationship then a middle ground needs to be found. You cannot always be the sacrificial lamb.
You need to make sure that it is a field wherein each player gets equal chances in playing or sacrificing.
If there are sacrifices made, then the decision needs to be through a two-way road together. If it is a mutual decision, there are fewer chances of resentment cropping up. And if such a sacrifice is being made by one partner, then the other one needs to recognize that and appreciate it. Love and gratitude a solve most problems. Like we said, sacrifices are mostly done for love. So if you get that love and appreciation in return that sacrifice doesn’t sting anymore.
All relationships need a certain amount of sacrifice on both sides. But you should not be the sacrificial lamb without thinking it through. You need to think about the pros and cons and be clear in your communication with your partner. If you are going to sacrifice it needs to be for the proper reasons. This kind of sacrifice is for the right reasons and when the partner acknowledges and shows gratitude, it can bring both of you together.
Like we mentioned, sometimes the continuous adjustments and sacrifices can bring resentment which with time can start festering and make things ugly. At times it can affect the relationship in a negative way. However, there are some small tasks that both of you can do which can probably help in removing this gap – and if you still feel it is not working just find a life coach Dubai has and he will guide you through healthy relationship building. Life coaches in Dubai are very strategic and experienced. They may really help you in your life and relationships.
Reconnect – The easiest way to close any gaps that might appear is to keep a regular reconnection time for both of you. For most couples, some time out, a break away from work or kids works wonders. Try and keep regular date nights; ensure that you both communicate with each other. Talk your hearts out, if something happened over the week that you were not happy about, bring it out softly. You both need to be comfortable enough to talk about everything. This needs to be two-sided and both need to give and take. Even some kind of physical activity, whether it is intimate or not; doing anything together just gives you time to reconnect. Think of it as a gap removing routine.
Appreciation – You assume that you are the only one sacrificing and not being appreciated. But sit down and think that your partner also must be doing something in the relationship and you may not be appreciating him enough. You also need to be appreciative of what he does and
what he brings into the relationship. When he feels wanted and respected, he will reciprocate too.
Afraid of disagreement – Most of the time, we do not bring up certain topics due to fear of arguments or disagreements. Sacrifices are also made due to such assumptions at times. But whether the argument is a heated one or a quiet one, this conflict is also needed in a relationship. No relationship can be all smiles and yeses. You both need to discuss things that bother each other without the feeling of degradation or retaliation. Sacrificing for the sake of a relationship or for the sake of love is a great feeling; provided it is a two-way street.